'For Always and Ever is Always for You'

There are many special people in my life and I thank God continuously for allowing me a sliver of time with them. There is one person that I can truly call my best friend, no matter how cliché it might sound, and that is my husband. Actually, I don’t even care if it sounds cliché because it’s very true. What’s crazy is that I have never called him by his real first name, which is Octavio, unless, of course it was for an occasion where it was deemed necessary. He introduced himself to me as “Gusto,” who was a character on the movie CB4, played by Chris Rock. His family doesn’t even call him Octavio. They have their own nickname for him, which is Benji because they used to play house when they were little and he never wanted to play so he’d say, “Meh, I’ll be the dog then.” Back then, there was a popular show about a dog named Benji. So, it stuck and they still call him Benji to this day.

It's not easy to use a few words to describe my husband because there is so much more to him than just handsome, funny, and caring. Those are just some of the words I can use to describe him, without it coming across as generic. It’s best to share stories and memories that I hold dear to me when I describe him.

I was a junior in high school when we first met. It was not love at first sight or anything close to the typical eye-gazing, heart-throbbing, butterflied-stomach encounter that is usually described by others when meeting the person they love. I was wearing a Pearl Jam shirt and this short, scrawny kid started making fun of me because of my shirt choice. He stood in the same hall every day and I had to eventually start avoiding that area because it was more of an annoyance to me. We ended up having each other for guitar class our senior year. So much for trying to avoid the guy. We shared similar friends and I knew his brother because we took Spanish together and also worked together at the movie theater. So, eventually, we started talking.

While we didn’t have a lot in common, we were drawn to each other. On December 12th of 1993, he asked me to be his girlfriend. We were best friends and did everything together. We were completely inseparable and never spent a day apart.

Some may think that it was the way he sang a song to me, while playing his guitar, at our school coffee house that melted my heart. After singing one of our songs by Pink Floyd, Wish You Were Here, he stayed there and dedicated another Pink Floyd song, Pigs on the Wing (Part 2,) to me, in front of everyone and it was truly touching as the song’s lyrics read:

You know that I care what happens to you, and I know that you care for me for me, too. So I don't feel alone, or the weight of the stone, now that I've found somewhere safe to bury my bone. And any fool knows a dog needs a home, for shelter from pigs on the wing.

However, it was a combination of characteristics that he held that made me fall madly in love with him. Not only was he very affectionate towards me, he’s always had a way of making me laugh and I love that about him. He only has to smile and I’m dizzy (The Cure, Halo). Yes, sometimes the words of another can truly capture the very essence of one’s feelings.

I can still remember our very first Christmas together. He was so excited to give me my gifts and he was so proud that he spent time trying to wrap them, since he never wrapped gifts before. As he handed over gifts messily wrapped with newspaper, it touched my heart to see the look of excitement in his eyes. He was so proud and I still see that young excited boy in his eyes and smile.

He knew how much I loved Prince. He used to make fun of me for it until one time I had his music on in my car and he asked, “Who plays guitar for him?” Since I considered Gusto an extremely talented guitar player, I knew he always dissects music and is very analytical when he does. When he found out that it was Prince who played every instrument he was listening to in each song, he had a new-found respect for him as a musician.

When Prince was touring in 1997, the radio station was having a contest for front row tickets. We had already bought our tickets, but we needed front row. The person who was willing to do the craziest thing for the tickets would win. While I knew that he had a great idea, I just felt it was too good to be true, but the radio station called him and he won! So, on a very cold day in winter, he had to carry out his idea. There he was, wearing nothing but a Depends diaper, with his body painted purple, his head shaved to the skin (which he never did at the time – well, he never did any of these things at the time), and dancing on the corner of a busy intersection of El Paso, Texas during morning rush hour traffic. I have to say that I felt a little guilty sitting off to the side, drinking hot chocolate. Being able to see the artist that I had loved since I was a kid, front row, and by Gusto’s side, is something that I will never forget.

Due to his strong mind and determination, we bought our first house together in 2001 and here we are, about a year from paying it off. We have had three beautiful sons and have watched them grow. Our oldest one is already in college and I can still remember Gusto sitting backwards in the hospital room chair, with his fingers over his eyes and thumbs in his ears because he couldn’t bear the birthing process, but couldn’t wait to hold little Benji. He got much better with Tito and Zion’s birth, but it’s quite humorous to look back at. We have shared so many memories together that I hold very near and dear to my heart.

When I was a little girl, my dad brought home our very first video game console, an Atari 2600. He made a deal with someone and got a box of games along with it. My dad, my brother, and I would play games together quite often. Gusto played video games as well, so we have kind of grown up together and have seen the evolution of video games and consoles. One of our favorite pastimes, which we still do to this day, is go to midnight launches for a new system or game. We would go get a coffee and hang out in front of the store and just have fun as we anticipated the release.

Now, on our anniversary, we attend a convention called PlayStation Experience, which celebrates the birthday of PlayStation. So, every December we celebrate our anniversary doing something that we’ve always love doing together.

When the original Xbox came out, we got one for my dad and it sparked that passion for games that he had, all over again. We would play different games online with my dad, since I was no longer living at home and online gaming allowed us to keep doing what we loved together. One of the last games we played together was Gears of War 3. It came out the day after my dad’s birthday. Three months later, he passed away and that was one of the most trying times of my life.

During my dad’s wake, I couldn’t even look at him. I didn’t want to remember him like this. I couldn’t even get up and speak about all the wonderful things I had to say about my dad. My legs would probably not have held me up and I know I wouldn’t be able to get through the tears to be able to finish even one sentence. It was Gusto who went up and talked about him. We hate funerals and wakes, and we try to avoid them, but he went up. Through his tears, he spoke highly of my dad, telling everyone that “Bill did everything he could for everyone,” he said, “He would give the shirt off of his back, if someone needed it.” As he continued, I cried harder. What he did for my dad, and for me, will always be treasured.

I am not the only one who sees just how special he truly is. Gusto has this charm about him that draws people in. He is extremely witty and can make a room laugh with his hysterical antics. He’s the kind of guy who will not only sing Prince’s Kiss during karaoke, but dance like Prince while doing it. He’s the kind of person that doesn’t care about how crazy people may see him, as long as he is just being himself and that is not a characteristic that you can easily find in people.

So, while he didn’t necessarily have me at “hello,” I can say that other clichés seem fitting in our relationship- opposites attract, everything happens for a reason, marry your best friend, the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Wait, we’ll leave that last one out.

I can come up with a list of words to describe Gusto, but that truly doesn’t give even a glimpse into who he is and what truly makes him special.